01st Apr 2008, by Andrew Barr

10 Yetis April Fools King is Crowned

This morning, I set an idea I had into motion, and it was good enough to fool all but the irrepressible Helen, Wicked Witch of the North, and Queen of Mount Pleasant. Even Salgado would have had trouble working it out!

The premise:

DCI from local constabulary calls work shortly after 9am to inform all of my arrest for an incident that occurred last night between 9 and 10pm, on the charges of GBH with Intent, Public Affray and Possession of an Offensive Weapon. DCI informs them that I am being held in Police custody on remand until an emergency court hearing can be arranged, likely to result in a custodial (prison) sentence. My legal aid requested that Yeti HQ knew the situation.

The Set-Up:

9pm last night. I have just finished writing on a telephone script, which my older, more authoritative brother Rob will read in his best bobby voice, under the assumed name of DCI Harvey Keads. Work it out.

Video camera at the ready, Rob makes the call from an unknown number shortly after 9.10am. The call can be seen below - watch out for Rob's expression at 18 seconds - GOLD:

The Result:

Helen answers. Rob asks for either Mr Andrew Barr or Miss Jill Tovey. Phone to Tovey.

Jill responds worriedly, asking if there is anything further she can do. She is assured that there is not, but to contact my partner for further information. Phone Down.

The Aftermath:

10 Yetis HQ converse about the situation, declaring it as something that I 'might do'. Thanks guys. They try to call my partner, but stuggle to get through. They consider calling my daughter's nursery to see if she is present. They call the POLICE station to find out if they have a Mr Richard Smith in custody, and are subsequently rebuked with: 'not here, trustworthy employee, then, eh?'

My brother and I laugh as I hope that they have bought it, but quickly realise that when I walk into work, I may not have a desk to sit at, nor a job to turn up for. Nice box of chocolates it is.

View the reaction as I prepare to walk in to the office below, chocolate in hand!

I love April Fools day. As you can imagine, my friends got some too.

Let's just say I think I need to find new friends now... Boundaries? What are they?

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